Saturday, June 12, 2010

You know what I love about believing in fate and a higher power? I never know who will end up in my life, for how long, what he or she will contribute, or how many times this person will come in and out of it, but I am sure it's exactly what's meant to be. It could be argued that this kind of irrational trust is a coping mechanism for the unfairness of life's whims, but I find it absolutely magical believing life is working for me, not against me. So when I spend the morning hitting it off with a handsome stranger and part not with a number or a promise or an expectation, but a "well, maybe I'll see you again," I love knowing that, yes, maybe fate should have it that way. Maybe next week, maybe four years from now, but yes, maybe. And if fate shouldn't, I don't want it anyway. Trust.

When I was 19 years old and out of the country for the first time, I felt an intense sense of liberation. My first step out of my comfort zone awakened a part of me I didn't know existed. Something similar to the peace sign emerged on my upper back while in Costa Rica. Not representing world peace - I never fully bought that. It represented inner peace, something worthy of striving for. A profound trust in this life.

Still a long way to go, but I'm getting closer.

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